imtheonewhokickedpj

shadows-of-a-fallen-angel:

overnight-shipping:

bemusedlybespectacled:

sonneillonv:

paperpants:

I saw this post on facebook and the comments were full of miserable fucking American parents (for some reason, the other countries were being cool) being all “sprinkles won’t teach them anything” “monster spray will just make them further believe that monsters are real and you are encouraging stupid ideas” “putting glitter on money is illegal, you will be arrested”

The entire thread made me wonder why some miserable cunts are parents after all. Their kids are going to be boring ass stock brokers or something

The facebook post made me this angry too… these ideas are freaking genius

Oh for… it is illegal, but holy shit you won’t be arrested unless you’re, like, burning and pissing on currency in front of a bunch of cops (or treasury agents).  Even then they’d probably tell you to quit before they actually pursued charges.  Like, I know a lot of times I’m like “OMG PLEASE STOP” when it comes to defacing currency because it just makes my job harder as a bank employee, but I’m talking about people, like…. writing ‘boner’ on one dollar bills because EVERYONE thinks they’re the first motherfucker to think that one up.  Put glitter on tooth fairy money, do it, don’t worry about the cops coming, jeez.

What’s wrong with fucking sprinkles? I mean you can’t put them on everything (they’ll sink to the bottom of juice, for example), but putting them on smoothies isn’t going to kill them, so why the fuck not?

*cough* critical American helicopter parents are the worst *cough*
Although I’m just gonna say that if I have a bottle of monster spray, rest assured it’s holy water or has salt in it I’ve heard too much to take chances

Holy salt water, and it’s a double bottle so it also has borax on the other one (bc leviathan ya know)

kvotheunkvothe

amydoesthings:

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

THAT LAST COMMENT IS WHAT DID IT. HOW DARE THEY